Today let’s talk about ways we can help others as we strive to maintain our healthy weight. So the focus will be on support for friends and family, whether we interact with them in person, or online in various groups and websites. And while we are helping others, we will be learning how to be more successful ourselves!
This information in this post does not apply to supporting those with eating disorders (ED). Since I’m not a medical professional, it’s definitely beyond the scope of my education or experience. Please work with your healthcare provider if someone close to you has an ED as it is a serious condition.
What To Do
- Ask for permission before discussing their weight related plans – either directly or indirectly. If they don’t want to talk about this topic, let it go (1).
- If they decline, let them know you care and will be there if they change their mind. Remember to express that care about them, not their diet (2).
- Lead by example – you don’t need to worry about saying the wrong things if you demonstrate supportive actions like exercise and eating healthy foods (3).
- Be the best cheerleader you can be and show your pride in their successes (2). Be aware that not everyone can accept compliments gracefully and don’t feel badly if their reaction is underwhelming.
- Participate in their dietary and exercise changes by trying their foods or taking a walk with them (3).
- Ask them how you can help out. If they would like, you can do their program with them. It’s more likely that they will succeed with a partner (1).
- Celebrate with your friend or family member – of course non-food activities are best. Positive reinforcement doesn’t need to be edible (3).
- Learn about the program they’ve chosen. You can support them more effectively this way, and you may find this helps your health too (2).
- Focus on their improving health if they seem shy about their changing appearance. For more information on body positivity and body neutrality, take a look at this post: https://lindawbrowning.com/2023/02/20/body-dysmorphia-related-concerns/
What Not To Do
- Don’t tempt them by offering “just a taste” of something you’re having if you know it’s not on their plan (2).
- Don’t judge or be a food police officer (3).
- You are not their coach or trainer – remember your role is to support. Do not attempt to control their eating or exercise behavior.
- “Research has shown that a person’s chance of becoming obese increases by 57% if a close friend is obese, 40% if a sibling is obese, and 37% if a spouse is obese” (4). Try to do the best you can to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
- Don’t joke about the situation (unless you are certain your friend or relative would view this as supportive). This could be embarrassing for them (3).
- Don’t encourage old behaviors because you miss the carefree (fattening) days with your friend or relative (5). Change is challenging, but if you really care, you’ll want the best for their health.
- Minimizing the importance of weight loss and maintenance is just wrong. Obesity can be a life-threatening disease and should be recognized as such (6).
- Statements like, “ Why don’t you just eat less and exercise more?” are hurtful. Realize that if it were simple, we would not have a worldwide obesity problem.
- Don’t abandon them or keep your distance because you’re uncertain of your role. Get on board to help ensure their success (7).
Read that last one again! Studies show that those who diet along with friends or family stay with their program longer and are more successful in maintaining their weight loss as well (7).
By forming strong relationships with the dieters you know, it is more likely that both of you will be able to maintain a healthy weight.
(2). https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/features/10-ways-to-help-a-loved-one-lose-weight
(3). https://www.upmcmyhealthmatters.com/dos-and-donts-when-helping-someone-lose-weight/
(4). https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/friends-and-family-can-influence-your-weight/
(5). https://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/a20459548/weight-loss-sabotage-from-friends-and-family/
Maintain Weight Loss 
Your friend looks amazing and is doing the right thing by changing her appearance.
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